Mysterious Theologian: Pastor Stephanie Kershner of Grace Lutheran Church in Scarsdale, NY.

A [small] sampling of [modified] conversations I’ve had with my husband concerning his beard:

While eating some delicious Tom Yum Noodle Soup:

Me: Um, your beard is in your soup.

Husband: Oops. (Removes beard from soup, which leads to a nice dribble of broth down the front of his shirt.)

In the evening after he’s returned from working in Brooklyn for the entire day:

Me: What’s that chunk of stuff in your beard?

Husband: Huh? (Juts out chin and picks at random segments of hair.)

Me: No, more to the right.

Husband: (Successfully finds mysterious chunk.) Are you kidding me? That’s the oatmeal I ate for breakfast this morning. I’ve been walking around the whole day with that in there! Why didn’t anyone tell me?!?!

In the morning while drinking his morning coffee:

Me: You’ve got a little in your mustache.

Husband: I’m saving it for later.

Let us pray. Almighty God, may the oil from greasy cheese pizzas that drips down our chins (or soaks our facial hair – be we ever so lucky) remind us that we are Your beloved and anointed children. May the bits of bright green spinach that get caught in our teeth (or lost in our overgrown forest of facial follicles) remind us of the bounty of food you have given us. May the sugar that sticks to the corners of our mouths (or the blunt bristles of our mustaches) from an evening cocktail with friends remind us of the sweetness of blessed fellowship. May the delicate, almost miniscule crumbs from flaky croissants that fall softly like snowflakes into the weaves and grooves of our clothing (or the Velcro-like strands of our beards) remind us of the bread, Christ’s body, that we have been graciously given. For all these good gifts, and for many more (more than the number of hairs on our heads or on our chins), we give thanks. Amen.

CHALLENGE: Stephanie Kershner challenges Pastor Paul Block of Transfiguration Lutheran Church in the Bronx, NY with the following:

“My husband (previously mentioned and pictured!) will tell you that I have an incredibly keen sense of smell. I can sniff out stink like a well trained police dog. One of the worst offenders? Worn and weathered running shoes.”

Mysterious Theologian: Pastor Danielle Miller of Oceanside Lutheran Church in Oceanside, NY.

 (The basement floor of Villa Nellcote where the Rolling Stones recorded Exile on Main Street)

Mysterious Theologian: Pastor Emily Scott from St. Lydia’s in Brooklyn, NY.

Loving God, your son Jesus told us that it’s not what goes into someone’s mouth that defiles them but what comes out of their mouths that defiles them. Trapped underground in an poorly ventilated subway car, what comes out of their mouths defiles me, too. In the winter months, the crush of your beloved children around me cough and hack, sneeze and spray, releasing an invisible, germ-ridden mist upon the subway pole I cling to. I know that you knit each of us together in our mother’s womb and called us all by name, God, but one of us has urinated in the corner of the car, and as we incline toward 14th street, it is trickling toward my shoe. Still God, in these moments, I remember that each hand that has touched this pole before me (though a study by Weil Cornell Medical College reveals that it may have been carrying Enterococcus bacteria, found in fecal matter, or Acinetobacter bacteria which may give me strep throat or maybe even a flesh eating bacterial infection) is the hand of one of your beloved children, with whom you are well pleased, despite the fact that your beloved children don’t always wash their hands after using the restroom, which is really gross. God, I thank you for this subway pole, for through it, I find communion (through a billion microscopic organisms) with God’s people, and through them, with you. AMEN.

CHALLENGE: Emily Scott challenges Pastor John Flack of Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran Church in Manhattan, NY to see God in “that stuff that you have to clean out of the drain in the bottom of the sink.”